The Notebook
by niki839037
Summary: Roxas has to kill himself to save Axel. Before he does he gives Axel a Notebook that contains everything that happened from the day they met to the day they parted. Will Axel ever really know the truth or is he too sore from losing Roxas?
1. Prologue

I knew something bad would happen today. I just didn't know it would be because I loved Axel. That was the one thing that bothers me most about what happened.

It was a normal day like any other. I began my walk to school, went through all my morning classes and began to walk to the outside picnic table where Axel and me usually sat. I sat down and began the usual 5 minute wait for Axel. Little did I know that the one person who I never thought would approach me again, would sit down beside me. He looked at me intently. Then he opened his mouth to speak.

"Hello...Roxas.." He said slyly through his disgusting and foul smirk. I growled.

"What the hell do you want?" I asked more then a little ticked off at his tone. He just chuckled darkly.

"You wanna know something?" He asked cockily. I just continued to look at him. He soon continued. "If you don't do exactly as I say,-" He stopped for a minute to whisper the last part. "-I'll kill Axel." He whispered sincerely. I believed the words he spoke in horror. I knew he always followed through with what he said. I gulped.

"O-only if you or you friends don't go anywhere near him after I do." I replied shakily. He smirked.

"Of course." He leaned in to whisper what I had to do in my ear. After he finished my eyes widened. Tears began to well up in my eyes and I nodded. If that's what I had to do to keep my enemy away from my love...so be it. He stood and walked away. I let the tears fall but once Axel arrived I acted as if everything was fine. I had to commit suicide. In front of Axel, by jumping off a bridge. Any bridge of choice actually. I couldn't tell Axel why though. I just had to make something up. But I had an idea. I was going to have Axel find out. And the way I'll do that is by writing it in the last precious page of my notebook. As soon as Axel left I began to write it all down. Filling up the whole page and finishing the last sentence with I Love You. I got up and sat on the steps in front of the school, not thinking about attending the rest of my classes. I mean, why would I? I have to kill myself within a few hours. I pulled out my phone and called Leon.

"_Hello?" _He asked. I felt a pit of sadness in my stomach but pushed it away as I had to speak as casually as possible.

"Leon...I'm not going to be home tonight." I stating it as if I was just going to stay with a friend.

"_Okay...you'll be sure to come home soon right?" _He asked, worried. I let a tear slip.

"O-Of course, I gotta go. Bye." I said and hung up the phone. I called Riku at work and said about the same thing. I then texted Sora.

'_Sora. Not gonna be home tonight. Axel will tell you everything tomorrow. I love you.'_ I texted and he sent a reply saying okay and he loved me too. I chuckled lightly but, quite sadly. I soon heard the bell ring, ending all classes and began waiting for Axel. he soon emerged from the building and I opened my mouth to speak.

"A-Axel...can you come with me for a minute?" I asked worriedly.

"Sure, Rox!" He replied. I gulped and began the walk to the bridge I had decided on. I was actually going to do it. I was going to kill myself for the love of my life.


	2. Chapter 1

"Axel! Axel! What are you doing?" Demyx walked up to the redheaded teen, concerned, as he's been for awhile. I glanced up. I really didn't wanna talk to Demyx right now. It's probably some super exaggerated story about him and Xigbar or, if not that, something about his Sitar.

"What?" I asked, not trying to hide my sadness and annoyance at all. Demyx cringed at the tone I used.

"I...I was wondering...if you wanna...hang out with me, Zexion, Marluxia, and-" I cut him off before he finished his sentence.

"No." I replied looking back down at the notebook before me.

"But...But...even Sora's gonna be there!" Wait. Why was he trying to get me to hang out with them again? Oh, right. Just so he can watch me suffer with the awkwardness of seeing Roxas' older brother only a year after 'the accident'. I sighed and looked back up at Demyx, who had thought, by the way, that I was going to yes because Sora was going to be there.

"No." I replied, now sadder then I was before. Demyx frowned and looked up to the sky. He laid down beside me, under me and Roxas' tree and sighed, seriously now.

"Axel." He said in a mad tone. "You're going. You haven't been out with anyone since that happened. You need to get out and enjoy yourself. What you're doing now is only making you sick. What would Roxas say?" I grabbed Demyx by the collar and about punched him in the gut, but, soon tears started to stain my emerald eyes and I let them fall. I put Demyx down and looked away.

"Y-you...you don't know what Roxas would say! He never lectured me unless I hurt someone or didn't eat for a week! He cared so much he had to pretend he didn't because he thought I'd leave him if he did!" I cried out at Demyx. Demyx was taken aback. He looked down, allowing his bangs to cover his eyes.

"Axel. It's over now. You need to stop staying in the past!" Demyx's head shot up, tear stained, and mad. "You think that's the only thing that matters anymore! What about us? Do you even care about your supposed 'friends' anymore?" Demyx cried. I looked down.

"I-I...I'm sorry, Dem...I'll go with you and the others...depending on what we're doing..." I said the last part cockily just to screw around with Demyx. He smiled his beautiful, bright smile.

"Now that's my Axel! We're going to the clock tower at 6 tomorrow to have a picnic and enjoy some sea-salt ice cream! Last one there pays!" He yelled at me before running away.

"Hey! I don't wanna pay!" I screamed back.

"Then don't be last!" He screamed just loud enough for me to hear him. I chuckled then turned back to the notebook. His, notebook. I opened it to the first page and began to read.

/In Roxas' Notebook/

I walked into my first block class and headed to the front, expecting the teacher to be there to introduce me. Apparently, he was late. I soon gave up and set my book-bag down on the floor so I could sit on it. I heard the door to the class open and looked up in hope that it was the teacher. It wasn't. It was this hot redhead that was unusually tall. He looked like he was 23. Maybe he was the teacher? Nope. He sat down in one of the empty chairs and directed his attention at me. Ugh. I hated attention. That's one of the reasons I wished the teacher would get here shortly. Soon, the redhead stood up and walked over to me.

"Hey, I've never seen ya around before. You new?" He asked in a sly manner. I lifted my head so I could see his face.

"Yeah. Isn't the teacher supposed to be here by now?" I answered his question while asking my own. He just chuckled.

"He always comes in late. By the way, the names Axel. A-X-E-L, got it memorized?" He replied. I smiled. He seemed friendly.

"My names Roxas. Why are you so tall?" I asked. I stood up, revealing my short height. He just bust out laughing at that.

"Why're you so short?" He asked, still laughing. I glared. "Hey, hey, I was just kidding. It runs in the family." Oh. Well that explains a few things. I started to look at all his beautiful features. I loved his hair, It was so obviously natural and it spiked naturally too. There was absolutely no trace of gel in his hair. Then, he finally opened his eyes after calming down from his laughing frenzy. He had the most beautiful eyes. Emerald green. It was the most beautiful eyes I'd ever seen.

"What are you staring at, twerp?" He asked me playfully, noticing I was staring off. I blushed and looked down.

"N-nothing.." I replied remembering I barley knew the guy. He laughed.

"Hey, wanna exchange phone numbers? You're kinda cute." He stated. I blushed even more (if possible) and agreed. He held out his hand which I just stared at. I didn't know what he wanted.

"Your phone?" He asked after a moment of awkward silence.

"Oh." I reached into my pocket pulling out my sucky flip phone and handed it to Axel. Who happily took it and handed me this awesome new century phone.

"Is this yours?" I asked, surprised he had something so amazing. He just smiled.

/End of Diary Entry(For now)/

"Wow..." I can't believe he liked me on his first day. I let one tear slip, just to sooth my heart for now. I checked my watch. Shit! It's already 5. I stood up and let out a long waited breath. Thank god it was Friday. But, I still wish it was Wednesday. That's- That was Roxas' favorite day of the week. But, then again, it was on a Wednesday that 'the accident' happened. I slung my book-bag over my shoulder and began the walk home. Ugh. The old man's probably home. Damn. Another day of beatings from, who supposedly is, my father. On the way home I always pass, now just, Sora, Riku and Leon's house. Leon took in the two brothers when their parents died in a car accident. Apparently their brother Cloud, was dating Leon at the time. But, Cloud, just dumped Leon when he took in his two brothers claiming, he never loved Leon in the first place. Leon however, being the good person he is, decided to keep them with him because they were 1) five years old at the time and 2) he didn't have the heart to put children out on the street. Sora, on the other hand, was dating Riku and Riku's parents disowned him being the homophobic's they are, and Sora and Leon let him move in. I...I'm gonna go check up on him. You know, see if he's okay...I mean why not? I have to see Sora tomorrow anyways. Might as well see Leon too. I took a deep breath and began to walk towards the door. I stood in front of it for a second before I started to raise my hand-BAM! Next thing I know, I'm on the ground, something heavy on top of me.

"D-dammit.." I attempted to say. Ugh. I opened my eyes to see a person with brunette hair lying on top of me, his face in my stomach at the moment. He lifted his head revealing his Opal blue eyes.

"I...I'm soooooooo sorry! Wait...Axel?" He looked at me in confusion. I just smirked. I lifted my hand and ruffled his hair.

"Hey, Sor. Came to see you and Leon today." He smiled. Wider then I've ever seen him smile before. He got up off me and lent me his hand for me to get up.

"LEON! AXEL'S HERE!" He screamed excitedly, running inside. Leon ran down the steps and smiled when he saw the spiky red hair everyone loved. He and Sora glomped him at the same 's when Sora looked up.

"Axel...why are you here, anyways? I'm not saying I'm not happy you are but, why?" Leon asked, worried of the answer. I looked down.

"I-I really don't know. I pass your house when I'm walking home and I'm seeing Sor tomorrow with everyone and I guess I just wanted to see you too." I finished. My eyes shot open.

"Sora...is Zexion gonna be there?" I asked urgently. Sora immediately understood why I was asking that. "He still blames me, doesn't he?" I asked the other question letting the venom seep into my tone. He nodded sadly. I shook my head, laughing sadly. "I'm sorry, Sor, if he's gonna be there tomorrow,...I'm not." I finished icily. Sora frowned, tears welling up in his eyes.

"Axel. If you're not going tomorrow, please, PLEASE, stay here with us!" Oh no. Roxas couldn't have, ...did he? "I know what happens to you behind that door Axel! You cannot live there anymore! My brother loved you! I do to but, as a brother! So please, stay with us!" Sora pleaded grabbing my arm tightly, crying.

"Sora...did Roxas tell you all this?" I asked coldly, looking away.

"No." He replied. Then...how did he know?

"Then...how-" Leon put his hand over my mouth.

"Axel, I'm a doctor, as is Riku. You spent all the day with Roxas and you come over for awhile, perfectly fine, the next day, you look like shit. Axel, it's pretty easy to figure out who's hurting you." Leon stated, walking into the kitchen. "And, we have an extra bedroom now anyways so...why don't you stay here? Oh, and want some water?" Leon asked me, clearly happier that there won't be an empty space full of memories anymore. I smirked.

"I'd love it." I answered. Leon smirked at me.

"Which one?" He asked, amused I didn't point out which question I'm answering.

"Both." I replied sitting on the couch with Sora. Sora smiled and reached into his overly-deep pocket and grabbed his phone. He quickly dialed a number I didn't recognize and clicked the talk button while raising the phone to his ear.

"Hello?" I heard on the other end of the line.

"Hey! Riku, guess what?" Sora replied to the person, who was apparently Riku, on the other end of the line.

" *sigh* What Sora?" He asked with no interest at all.

"Axel's coming tomorrow and he's gonna start living with me, you, and Leon!" Riku got quiet.

"Sora...you know what happened to Roxas..." Was all he said. I looked down, stood up, and began walking towards the door. So, Zexion wasn't the only one who blamed me for what happened...that's just great...

"Axel! Where are you gong?" Sora yelled. He probably already assumed I heard what Riku said. I knew Sora and Riku were dating so...

"I'm going home so your boyfriend doesn't think what happened to Roxas will happen to you. Goodbye, Sora, Leon..." I said before opening the door and started running.

"Axel! I'm calling you at eight! You better answer!" Sora yelled after me, worried. I made sure I had the notebooks and my book-bag before I completely took off though. Tears were burning my eyes as I ran. I knew it was pointless. I slowed to a sprint and looked around. Of course my running had to take me here. Of all the places, why did my feet have to take me to this place? The place where Roxas died? I was standing on a bridge that had been in Twilight Town for awhile. Under the bridge was a roaring river. I looked over the edge and contemplated whether I should jump and die right now so I could be with Roxas or...to live and just be dead on the inside. It all came back to me...what had happened. I had forgot in this year after it happened but just now, I remembered it all.


	3. Chapter 2

/Flashback to March 17th 2007/

"_A-Axel...can you come with me for a minute?" Roxas asked the redhead after school ended._

"_Sure, Rox!" He lead me to a bridge and he stepped onto the ledge._

"_I-I can't do it anymore Axel!" Screamed Roxas, standing on the ledge of the bridge._

"_Don't go Roxas! I-I...I love you!" I screamed back, knowing what he was about to attempt. He smiled._

"_I love you too Axel, but...I cannot live in this world anymore! I can't only live for you! You're the only thing that's worth living for...but only you! That's why...I've decided to end it all now...the pain and suffering I've been through...everything...there's just one thing...that I need to do before I do end it..." He jumped off the ledge back onto the bridge and approached me slowly, in his hand...2 notebooks. One blue, one red._

"_Axel...I wrote all my life into that blue notebook...I want you to write your side of the story after you met me in the red one..." Is all he said before he ran back to the ledge, and...jumped. I ran trying to catch him before he hit the water but it was to late. I turned around tears staining my vision and saw Zexion, Riku, and Demyx, standing there, shocked. Zexion walked over to me and slapped me._

"_Axel...why the fuck did you push Roxas?" He screamed, letting out his emotions. He then pushed me. Off the ledge, and into...the icy cold waters below. I heard Demyx scream something but,...I couldn't make out what it was. Soon, it all went blank._

_I opened my eyes and looked around, I was in the hospital. To my left, Demyx and Xigbar were sitting in the love-seat, holding hands, asleep. I couldn't remember why I was here. I looked to my right, feeling a pain in my shoulder, and saw, a broken arm and leg._

/End Flashback/

My eyes widened. So...that's why Zexion and Riku blame me...it looks like I pushed him...I let the tears fall. I fell to my knees and heard footsteps through my hands that were entangled in my hair. The person knelled down beside me and rubbed my back in soothing circles. They hugged me and...I actually let them. I was sobbing hard and loud. I couldn't hear anything but I knew it.

"I-I remember! It wasn't my fault Roxas died! I know it!" I cried. Why was telling a stranger all this? Maybe...I just needed a stranger right now.

"I know. I know. It wasn't your fault. I don't blame you." Said person whispered in my ear. That's when I heard him. He had started to sing into my ear.

It hit me like a ton of bricks to my chest,

It's something that I never would of guessed,

That you would be walking out that door,

All the times I shared with you it was the best,

I never would-a thought you would-a left

Don't wanna stick around with me anymore,

Now I, I wish you would-a told me,

Why, Instead of just up and leaving before you said goodbye,

If you ever love someone,

If you ever really ever love somebody,

What do you do when you lose somebody,

This one is for the broken hearted,

For the one's that's feeling all alone,

If you ever really loved somebody,

Know how it feels when you lose somebody,

This one is for the broken hearted,

For the one's who's feeling all alone.

I cried harder after he sang that. It was perfect how he sang it. I took in his smell. It seemed familiar...I must know this person. I glanced up. I saw some blonde hair and...aquamarine eyes...It was Demyx...he was crying with me...

"T-Thank you..." I cried. He just chuckled sadly.

"D-don't mention it..." He cried back...He stood and helped me up. "Axel...will you come with me back to my house? W-We need to talk about that day..." Demyx asked me worriedly. I nodded and followed him to his house. He sat be down on his couch and sat beside me.

"Axel. You remember everything from that day, right?" Demyx asked. I nodded, agreeing. "Well...remember after school ended that Roxas asked you to come with you and he lead you to the bridge and all that shit happened?" Demyx pried on.

"Yeah..." I replied sadly.

"W-well...I was...uh...curious...because he was talking weird...so I followed you two to the bridge. I know that Roxas committed suicide..." He finished for the moment, taking a breath. "Zex and Riku only saw him fall and since your arms were over the side of the ledge they thought you pushed him." He finished completely. I moved over and hugged him. He was shocked I wasn't mad. The tears started coming again.

"T-thank you...Dem...if you weren't there and you didn't believe me...I'd probably had committed suicide..." I cried into Demyx's chest. He patted my back comfortably. That's when Xigbar walked in.

"W-what happened?" He asked, a little worried because I was never here. Demyx looked up at him tears welling up in his eyes as well.

"It's okay Xig-Babe. 'M-member when I told ya 'bout the Roxas thing? On Axe's birthday? We went to the hospital...?" His eyes widened.

"O-oh. What about it?" He asked worriedly taking quick glances at me every so often.

"Axe...remembers what happened that day again..." Demyx replied, knowing I was getting a little uncomfortable. Xigbar's face lightened and he gave me a smile.

"That's great!" He said happily. I looked down.

"Demyx." I said seriously and coldly. He looked over at me. "Just because you and Xig believe me...doesn't mean Riku and Zexion will..." I stated coldly, remembering exactly what Riku had said.

"_Sora...you know what happened to Roxas..."_

I hated Riku...after he said those words. He had avoided me for awhile but,...he...he never said anything. Then I remembered what Zexion said the day of the accident...

"_Axel...why the fuck did you push Roxas?" _

I unconsciously began to shake, remembering the hateful things the 2 had said. I couldn't even blink.

"_We hate you, Axel! You don't deserve to live!" Zexion and Riku said in union. _

"_I never loved you! I lied! I've always hated you, Axel!" Roxas screamed at me._

"_N-no! I love you guys! I did nothing wrong!" I screamed back._

"_Axel, you're the reason I died. Admit it. You pushed me!" Roxas said._

"_I- I didn't push you!"_

"_You did. Not physically but mentally! Ever since I met you my life began to fall apart! It's all your fault!" Roxas screamed. Tears streamed down my face._

"_Axel killed Roxas! Axel killed Roxas!" Riku and Zexion were chanting while running in a circle around me._

"_I didn't do it! I swear! I didn't do it! I didn't! I wouldn't hurt a fly! I didn't kill Roxas!"_

"I DIDN'T DO IT!" I screamed. My upper half of my body flew up. I was sweating and crying. Demyx was holding me and Riku and Zexion were standing in the doorway, Xigbar leaning against the wall. I was in Demyx's bed. They didn't notice I saw them so I looked down at Demyx. I must've passed out in my daze of hateful statements.

"D-Demyx?" I forced out my mouth. He looked up, tears staining his flawless face.

"Axe? Are you okay? You suddenly passed out on the couch so me and Xig carried you up here and called Zexion, Riku, Sora, and Leon! Sora and Leon just came in!" He breathed. I was shocked. How could he say all that in one breath? Anyways, back to the subject at hand. How did I even pass out? I looked to the bedside table on my right to see my-Roxas' notebook and the one he gave me, my book-bag on the floor, and gave a sigh of relief. If I lost that, I probably would've died. Literally.

"I-I...I didn't know all that happened...I'm...sorry..." Zexion mumbled under his breath while avoiding eye contact.

"I'm also sorry. I shouldn't have assumed it was your fault he died." Riku said quietly. I smiled. I wouldn't let the tears come now. I've cried enough in one day. I looked up and into Zexion's eyes. I glared. He deserved it. Even if he said sorry. He said he hated me for a year, pushed me off a ledge, and caused me to break an arm and a leg and he expects me to forgive him? Hell no! Riku, I could forgive him because he never once mentioned it to me and of course, _he_ didn't push me off the ledge. I stood up, walked to the door, in front of Zexion and slapped him. He was obviously shocked. His eyes were wide and his face now red. I then pushed by him and walked out the front door, passing by Sora and Leon. I was going home to get my stuff and then was going to head to Sora's place. I mean, they did say I could live there? Why spend everyday being hit and beaten when you can just live a happy, normal, life?


	4. Chapter 3

There I stood, In front of my raggedy house. I shuddered. Who knew what that _man_ would do if I told him I was leaving? Ugh. I felt the blood already coming. I slipped the key in the lock and opened the door slowly, hoping he was passed out or asleep. He wasn't.

"Axel? Where have you been?" He practically screamed at me. I felt a sudden burst of courage.

"I'm getting my stuff and leaving." I replied smartly. He glared and ran forward, clutching my flame red hair in his hands.

"Now you listen here, boy." He spat sternly. "You will not leave unless asking permission first!" I flinched but I wouldn't let him see the fear in my eyes as I tried to loosen his grip on my hair. Apparently that just made him angrier and he shoved me to the ground and stepped on my wrist and started to shift all his weight onto it. I heard it crack and I just knew it was broken. It hurt, yeah but I was used to some of the things this ass did. He's broken my other wrist before so I was expecting it to feel like this.

"Now go to your room!" He shouted louder. I smirked.

"Hell no." Was my sly answer. I hated my short temper. It always caused me more pain then I would have had to endure. He glared down at me, hate in his eyes. I stood and brushed myself off. I had to do this now so I could get out of the house. My eyes shifted to my right pocket. Thank god I didn't forget my phone today! Even though I didn't really believe in god I was still happy fate was helping me out a little today. And it's also a good thing Sora said he would call me around 8. I glanced at the clock on the wall to my right. Shit! It's already 6:56! I knew it would take at least until 7:45 for my beatings to end. I knew this from experience. I talk back, at least 49 minutes of beatings. I just hope Sora calls as soon as I'm alone. Then my father began approaching my tall figure. I closed my eyes, ready for the slap that always started it all. BAM! Shit! He punched me. I must of went a little too far. Ugh. His knee instantly hit my stomach and I tumbled over, shocked at his action. I looked up to be kicked up my nose and threw backwards. Wow. For a lazy ass drunk that's pretty amazing. I knew he broke my nose, next was my collar bone. Ow! There went a few ribs. Shit. After leaving this hell hole I'm going to have to trouble Riku, Sora, and Leon with taking me to the hospital. That, or Leon and Riku would fix me up. With one last kick to the gut my father collapsed on the floor next to me. Thank fate for it. I glanced at the clock, preserving my energy for when I would have to get up and try and get my things and possibly walk to Sora, and- well, you know the rests, house. It was 7:57. Sora always called exactly at the times he says he will, even just to say he'll call later because something came up. I just laid there, staring at the ceiling. _You can go to h-e double hockey sicks and f yourself cuz, I'm flippin' gosh darn sick of all the s words you put me through...so f you! _ My phone rang out, not to loudly, A Friendly Goodbye which I had as my ringtone for Sora. I picked up and winced as I held it up to my ear with my broken wrist.

"H-hello?" I tried to speak without sounding hurt, it didn't work.

"Axel? What's wrong?" Sora asked worriedly. I began to chuckle and instantly regretted it.

"S-Sora? Do you think...you can pick me up...and...t-take me to the hospital...and help m-me...get my stuff to...y-your house?" I begged a little. I think he understood because he quickly called Riku and Leon and told them what happened. All he knew and told them was that his father had hurt him again and they had to help him out of the house, to the hospital, and then to their house. They all agreed and I could hear them rushing into the car as Sora talked with me on his cellphone. He asked me how serious it was, I sighed.

"He broke my wrist, some ribs, my nose, and possibly my collar bone." I finished painfully. Sora gasped and told Riku to step on it. Zexion had gone home and Riku was the best driver out of the three that were left, even though Zexion wouldn't have helped after what I did anyways. Leon was to reckless and Sora had an A.D.D. problem...

"Axel? We're outside your house! Is the door unlocked? I nodded but then I remembered they couldn't see me...

"Y-yeah..." I replied. I began coughing up something. I looked on the floor where it dripped out of my mouth and noticed it was blood. Great. If he wakes up before we leave I am so gonna be dead if he sees that. I heard the knob turn and I began trying to get up.

"Shit!" I cursed under my breath as my right wrist made me once again, fall to the floor in pain. I fully broke it now... Damn!

"Axel!" Sora screamed softly as he saw me. He ran over and leaned beside me. "Are you alright?" He asked stupidly. Letting my sarcasm get the better of me...

"Yea Sora! I feel the b-best I ever have before!" I screamed and instantly regretted it. "Shit!" My ribs hurt sooo bad! Sora flinched seeing the pain in my face. I turned to Riku.

"Hey, y-you think you could get m-my stuff for me?" I asked shakily. He nodded and him and Leon went into my room and began to unload all my stuff from it's original places. I sighed. Damn! Who knew it hurt so much to sigh sometimes? Riku and Leon soon emerged to get a suitcase to pack all my stuff. I attempted to point then remembered I couldn't move my right wrist the hard way.

"I-It's in t-the closet.." I struggled to say. Then I remembered. "Riku...t-there's a re-red necklace...on...my bedside t-table...can you g-give it here?" I asked. He nodded once again and soon came back out of my room holding the ruby colored necklace. I smiled, well it didn't look like a smile but,...well it was. Sora helped me into a sitting position so it was easier for me to breath and so I could grab the locket thing with my left hand. I rubbed it in-between my fingers slowly. I looked into Sora's eyes.

"Sora...will...will you...call my brother?" I asked, knowing Roxas had told him about what had happened. Sora's eyes widened, shocked.

"B-but...Axel..." I smiled a sad smile.

"Sora...I think it's a bad enough situation for you, Riku, and Leon. Plus, Reno would help pay the hospital bill." I thought a bit. "I'll pay it all back once I get back to work and such." I added, knowing I'd feel guilty if I didn't pay them back. Sora just nodded and pulled out his phone.

"W-what's his number?" He asked, obviously worried my brother would yell at him for not protecting me.

"It's 704-761-8867, and Sora. He's really a nice guy. Don't think he'll be mad." I reassured him. He smiled and held the phone up to his ear. I could hear the ringing and then a faint "Hello?" was heard on the other end of the line.

"Um! Um...hi...this is Sora...I'm a friend of Axel's...and...well..." I grabbed the phone from Sora with my good hand and raised it to my ear.

"Hey, Reno. I think you already know who this is." I struggled to finish my statements. A gasp was heard from the phone.

"_A-Axel?" _Reno was obviously shocked to be receiving a call from the one he had left to fight for himself. I chuckled darkly.

"Yeah...*cough*.." I had to stop for a moment considering a lump of blood just got coughed up by me. "Guess what? You know what you did? You left me with dad to fight for myself. And now, I need you. Ironic, huh?" I said sarcastically. I heard Reno gasp from the other end of the line.

"_Axel...what happened?" _He asked worriedly. I smirked.

"Oh...nothing much. Just a few broken ribs, a fractured wrist, a severed collar bone, and to top it all off, a broken nose. Yeah, I'm just peachy!" I replied, slightly pissed off. I glanced at Sora to see tears welling up in his eyes.

"It's okay Sora. I'm okay. Just don't cry?" I asked, trying to comfort him. He nodded and wiped the growing tears out of his eyes. I then directed my attention back to Reno.

"_What the hell, Axel? Why didn't you tell me that as soon as you called? Dammit! Where are you?" _Reno yelled through the phone.

"I'm at dad's until Leon drives me to the hospital. I think I also have some internal bleeding going on." I added smugly.

"_Hand the fucking phone to one of the people you're with Axel!" _Reno growled, obviously upset with the tone I used. I handed the phone to Sora.

"Just answer the questions he asks you, okay Sora?" I asked. He nodded and held the phone to his ear.

"Hello?"


	5. Chapter 4

_**Sora's POV**_

"Hello?" I asked in a low voice. I was worried. Axel had started coughing up more blood after he handed me the phone. I really wished Riku and Leon would hurry up...I bit my lip in worry.

"_To whom am I speaking?" _Asked the patron on the other end of the line. I instantly became focused on the speaker.

"I'm Sora. I introduced myself earlier before Axel took my phone." I answered. There was a small silence on the other end of the line before a slight ruffling was heard.

"_Ah! I remember. Is Axel okay?" _He asked me. Worried glazed over his words sent chills down my spine at first. I shock my head no then remembered he can't see me.

"I don't think so he's-" Axel placed a hand over my mouth.

"Do not tell him about what I'm doing right now. Only let him in on my injuries, got it memorized?" He said seriously. I just nodded and continued my sentence.

"He's fine right now but his injuries do look quite serious. Do you want us to meet you at the hospital?" I asked. I didn't want Axel to stay here any longer for his injuries may get worse.

"_...Okay.." _Was all I heard before the line cut off. I sighed and looked to Axel's door to see Leon and Riku approaching with a stuffed suitcase and worried looks on their faces. I looked back to Axel to see he's lost consciousness.

"Shit!" I yelled. "Leon! Help me get him to the car and to the hospital please?" I practically screamed at him. He nodded and rushed to help get Axel up. Riku opened the door and rushed to the drivers side and hopped in the already running car. Me and Leon yanked open the doors to the back seat. We gently placed Axel on it in a hopefully comfortable position. I practically jumped in the passengers seat after Leon said he'd meet us there soon. I nodded before Riku sped off towards the hospital.


	6. Chapter 5

_**Zack's POV**_

I walked down the silent halls of the hospital and sighed loudly. I was sooo bored. I know my mother worked here constantly but why, oh why, did I have to be so quiet and not be a nuisance to the other nurses. Ugh. Why is there never any interesting patients here? It's such a b-

"Move out of the way Zack!" One of the nurses practically yelled at me as she was trying to go as fast as she could to get the red head to a room as quickly as possible. I smirked and moved aside. This one looked interesting. I'll be sure to visit him later. I then stalked off and began to hum a catchy tune.

*Riku's POV*

Me and Sora had been waiting for, like, ever. I know I'm usually a patient person but, this is ridiculous! I mean, how bad was Axel beat up? And where was Leon? He said he'd be here soon! Well screw that! It's already 12:30 AM! I mean seriously? Shouldn't at least Reno be here? As soon as that thought passed through my mind I saw a mysterious red head pass through the automatic doors and into the hospital. Well, it's just great that Axel didn't tell us what Reno looked like!

"Sora...hand me your phone.." I demanded rather than asked. He obeyed and looked at me weirdly. I went to recent calls and called the number that was supposedly Reno's. It started to ring and I stared at the guy who just walked in. i'm taking a big chance by-..._ring ring ring_. The mans phone started to ring. He picked it up and on my phone I heard him say hello. I knew instantly that the red head who just walked in was Reno. His back was currently facing me and Sora.

"Hello...this is Reno...correct?" I asked.

"_Yes." _He replied. I let out a sigh of relief. Thank god, that was Reno!

"This is Riku, one of Axel's friends. Turn around, please." I stated boldly. He did as he was told and his eyes widened when he noticed who he was talking to. I smirked and stood up, walking towards him.

"Hello, my name's Riku Tatsuga. You must be Reno. Axel is in critical condition. He told us not to tell you this but he might die. I know this because I'm studying to become a doctor. He was having internal bleeding and he broke quite a few bones. We're quite lucky he's alive right now." He looked shocked, scared more accurately. He turned pale which concerned me.

"Are you okay, Reno?" I asked innocently. I knew this was going to be interesting but I had to sound as uninterested and boring as possible. It was mandatory.

"Uh...yeah...I'm fine, yo.." He mumbled, sitting beside Sora, clulessly. I snickered. Sora knew but didn't say a thing.

"Reno." I said waiting for him to ask what.

"Hmm?" he asked, showing he was listening.

"You know you're sitting beside Sora, right?" I snickered as I watched his face turn quickly to meet the smiling face of my brunette beauty. Sora stuck his hand out and smiled, tilting his head a little.

"Hi! I'm Sora!" He exclaimed happily. Reno smiled.

"Reno." He replied taking Sora's hand and shaking it. "I just want to thank you for calling me. Axel always tries to do things himself ever since...I left, yo." Sora nodded. Roxas must've told him about everything Axel told him. Figures.

"Why'd you leave? You must've known Axel'd have to say seeing as he's underage. So, why'd you do it? Why you leave him to fight for himself?" I asked. I needed to know this. I could help them work it out if I know all the details. He looked down.

"I-I...I couldn't stay there. I would've had to do many worse things I would regret if I didn't leave..."

"Like what?" I asked, urging him on. I could see tears falling from his face.

"Dad was going to...he was going to make _me_ kill Axel!" He sobbed out, raising his hands to his face to cry. My eyes widened in shock. What kind of father would ask their child to kill their sibling? That's shit!

"I'm...sorry..." I mumbled before walking away.

"Riku! Come back!" I didn't turn back. I'll see him in a hour or so. I walked to where they're supposed to be working on Axel and put my ear to the door.

"_He's really messed up. It's a good thing he got here just in time. We saved him." _Said a man.

"_Yeah. I hope he recovers okay. He seems like a good person." _Said another male.

_We should bring him to his room and let his friends and family see him. They're probably really worried." _The first man replied.

"_Yes. Let's go." _The other man finished. I quickly backed up from the door and sat in one of the waiting chairs. Soon the doors burst open and they wheeled out Axel. They stopped when they saw me though.

"Are you a friend of this young man?" One of the two guys asked me. I nodded.

"Then follow us. We'll show you to his room." The other said as they continued walking. I followed suit, all the while, worrying is Axel really was okay.

The two men finally stopped after going up 2 floors and turning down multiple hallways. They stopped in front of room 813. Ugh. I hated walking. And after Axel get situated in his room I have to go back and get Sora and Reno, (And possibly Leon too if he got here while I was gone.) then return back up here. Why? Why did hospitals have to be so big? It's such a nuisance. I mean, really. Well, if you do consider how many people actually live in Twilight Town...damn I'm such a selfish bastard. What is something happened to the whole town? That's probably why the hospitals so big. Maybe something like that happened in the past.

"Um, sir? Are you going to visit your friend?" One of the men asked, interrupting my thoughts. It took me a moment to sort through what he actually had said.

"Uh...I have to get some people before I can. His brother, my boyfriend, and me and my boyfriend's guardian came to see him as well. I don't want to keep them worrying." I answered, beginning to walk away. He nodded and him and the other man walked out of the room and walked the opposite way of the hallway. I shrugged and continued walking, wondering if I could actually find my way out of here. In the elevator I found out we were on level 3 and we went up to level 5. I soon found the elevator, (not as soon as I would have liked) and pressed the button. I was getting impatient. It wasn't coming. I'd been waiting for what, 5 minutes? Didn't elevators only take a little while to come? Whatever. Screw it. I walked a little more to the left and began descending the long, narrow staircase. It apparently had glass as it's walls so I could see how high up I was. Damn my fear of heights and my heavy paranoia*.

I finally made it to the third floor, red-faced. I had to climb one more floor than needed because I accidentally went down a floor too many. I practically collapsed on the lap of a very surprised Sora after finally making it to the third floor waiting room.

"You always come back." Said Sora in a knowing tone. I sighed and breathed in the scent of Sora and let it engulf me.

"Sora...Reno...you two want to go see Axel now?" I asked, feeling better after seeing Sora. Sora nodded excitedly and Reno just nodded, worry obvious in his eyes.

"Don't worry, Reno. The doctors said he's fine." Well I lied pretty nicely. Well, he looked fine, and they didn't say anything was wrong. And from what I over heard, everything seemed to go smoothly. As we all began the long walk to Axel's room I smiled, happy everything might be okay.

_What they didn't know was, Something bad was going to happen. Soon. And the only one who knows this? Roxas. Because, he was actually a little closer than anyone thought..._


	7. Chapter 6

_/Roxas' Notebook/_

After Axel gave me back my phone I smiled up at him. Maybe this would be a good thing. Making friends so soon, I mean. I just moved here and all, so I didn't think I would be excepted so early on. I smiled, so big my eyes closed. I soon felt something warm on my lips and I opened my eyes in curiosity to see Axel's face pressed to mine in a soft kiss. It felt so good. My guardian, Leon, knew I was gay, after I came out of the closet last June with my ex Zexion. Me and him didn't work out so well. Now, he's dating Demyx, another ex of mine. Me and Demyx decided to stay friends though. Okay, back to topic. Why was Axel kissing me of all people? I mean, we just met. Whatever. He soon pulled away for air and smiled at me.

"You have a problem with that?" He asked me, seriously yet playfully. I smiled at this.

"It wasn't too bad." I answered. He smirked and kissed me again, this time I kissed back. It felt nice. I wonder... He pulled back and wiped his wet lips on his long sleeve.

"You wanna go out some time?" He asked me. This surprised me. I'd been kissed randomly by people before but they never asked me out...maybe this could work out...

"Sure." I replied, smiling but still in shock a little. At that moment the teacher burst in. I was dumbfounded. Why? Why him? God I hate him! He looked to me and instantly we made eye-contact. He glared and I glared right back. He started to approach. Shit! Leon's gonna be sooo pissed! Maybe I won't tell him...he might make us move if I do. Cloud was now only a foot away, glaring viciously. Maybe I should explain what's wrong with Cloud. Cloud was my brother. He was dating Leon and such and lived with him. When our parents died from an unknown disease, Leon agreed to take us in. Cloud, for some reason unknown to us to this day, disagreed and said if we weren't put on the street he'd leave Leon. Leon refused. He couldn't do that to children, so Cloud left, saying he hated me and Sora before doing so.

"What the fuck are you doing here, Roxas?" Cloud asked, sneering.

"Learning. When did you become a teacher? Molesting kids a new hobby?" I asked just as snidely. He slapped me. SLAPPED me! I raised my hand to my abused cheek.

"Watch yourself, Roxas." Cloud practically shouted. Axel stepped in front of me, scowling at Cloud.

"Roxas-" Axel started, turning his head while still keeping his head turned toward Cloud. "-how do you know him?" He asked, concerned. I looked down, ashamed.

"He...He was my brother." I answered. He turned completely around, shocked. Then he turned back to Cloud, glaring.

"Why did you hurt Roxas, Mr. Strife?" Axel asked, clearly pissed off beyond helping. Cloud just smirked.

"Well, you see...he is just a nuisance. He's the reason mom and dad died, and after that he forced Leon to let him move in. Causing him to kick me out. He completely forgot about me to save, these disgusting children Roxas and Sora." Cloud finished, faking barfing. Axel turned to me.

"Did you really do those things Roxas?" He asked, obviously taking Cloud's side.

"No." I looked down as I said these words. "I didn't do any of that. I do blame myself for what happened with mom and dad, though. Sora said it wasn't may fault but I knew it was." Tears started to flow down my cheeks. "Leon didn't kick him out. Cloud said if Leon didn't put me and Sora out on the streets he would leave him and Leon refused to protect me and Sora, hoping Cloud was joking but...he wasn't..." I started to sob but I kept going. "And even though Cloud left Leon still loved him but, he's given up now. He thinks there's no hope. I started thinking that as well. Cloud did say before he left he hated me and Sora, and he told us to die." I looked up and looked Cloud in the eye. Now was when he would probably feel guilty. I pulled up the long sleeve of my shirt on my left arm and removed the bandages. Below them, many deep cuts and scars, most looking fresh. "This is what I resorted to. You made me want to die. But it wasn't all you. I thought what you said was true, that I was responsible for everything. But not anymore. You know why? Because I realized how stupid it was for me to believe you, the one who left me and Sora for your own selfish life. I hate you." I said before running out of the classroom, crying. I ran into the bathroom and leaned over the sink, hyperventilating. I couldn't breath! Damn my panic attacks. I'm gonna have to call Leon and text Sora. Leon to bring me my medicine for the panic attack, Sora to tell him what happened and how. I pulled out my phone and dialed Leon's number and raised it to my ear. ring ring ring

"Hello?" Leon's voice sounded on the other end of the line. I tried to calm down enough to talk.

"L-Leon...*cough*...panic attack...*cough*...bring my medicine...please..*cough*..." I said before hanging up. I often called and it sounded similar to that. I always had at least one breakdown a week. It's not my fault. It's...what happened the night of my parent's deaths. It happened in front of me. I shuddered at the cold-hearted memory. That always made me on edge. I can't stay calm to save a persons life. They...did die in a car accident...but...Cloud was the one driving the car... Tears started pouring down. Then I heard the speakers.

'Roxas Strife, Roxas Strife. Please report to the office. Again,' I got up and began walking to the office. I wonder if they're calling me because Leon's already here. When I arrived at the office I was shocked. Nothing could help me then.


	8. Chapter 7

Roxas's POV

I opened my eyes, but I still couldn't see. Where am I? I lifted a hand above me and felt wood. Okay. Now I have no idea where I am. I'm obviously in something wooden, dark, and cold. Why am I laying down too? Then, I remembered some parts of what happened. I raised my hands to my head and held it. It hurt.

"_If you don't do exactly as I say...I'll kill Axel." _Tears started running down my face in realization. I had died. I'm in a coffin buried in the ground! Wait...if i died...how am I alive right now? I lowered my hand from my face to my chest. My heart was beating. I took my right hand an checked my pulse on my left. There was a pulse. My eyes widened in pure horror. If I'm alive...won't I die if I stay in here? Shit! I'm gonna have to bust out f here or something... And there was one thing I really wanted to know...when was it? I didn't have anything that told me the time, month, nothing. Well, no time to ponder on that. It was already getting hard to breathe. I punched the top of my coffin (it creeps me out to think this is my coffin. I mean, you know?) and it instantly busted. How long had I been dead? I ignored that thought for a moment and began digging myself out.

After what probably was an hour, I finally reached the ground. I took a breathe. It felt good to be alive again. I looked around. Of course. I was buried in Twilight Town Cemetery. It's a good thing I only live like a mile away from here. I began walking. When I walked out the gate, I got worried. I mean, how do I explain this to Axel, Leon, Sora, and the rest of my friends? And did Axel have someone new now? Well, I didn't know how long I'd been dead so I can't say anything for sure. It could've been only a week, who knows?

I was standing in front of my old house, worry starting to build in my stomach. Then, I had an idea. Demyx lived right down the street from me. I could tell him everything first. He would trust me, right? I walked down to Demyx's and stood in front of the door. Demyx lived alone so there's no one else here to see me. Good. I think I can only handle Demyx for now. I knocked loud enough for him to wake if he was sleeping. A light turned on and a fully awake Demyx opened the door. When he saw me his eyes widened in shock. Time to test my voice...

"Demyx? I did die right? This is Roxas. Can I come in and talk?" His mouth dropped open. Thank god my voice still sounded the same.

"R-Roxas?" He asked, his eyes filling up with tears. I smiled. I went up and hugged him.

"Yes. Demyx, it's me." Demyx instantly, after he heard that, hugged back and started sobbing. I smiled wider and started rubbing his back in circles. Me and Demyx were best friends. We had met when we were in 2nd grade. Ever since then we _were _close.

"May I come in and talk, Demyx?" I asked again. I really needed to figure some stuff out. He pulled back and wiped his nose with his arm while nodding, going in, and sitting on the couch. He just kept staring at me, as if I would go away the second he looked away. I walked over to the chair that was across from the couch.

"First question, what time, day, month, and year is it?" I asked, really curious.

"It's 2am, it's the 17th of March, now, and it's 2008." He answered, quite robotically. I sighed.

"Demyx can you stop acting like that? And by the way, didn't I die on March 17th?" I asked. He nodded and calmed himself down a bit.

"You died on March 17th, 2007 at 4:37pm." He answered. My eyes widened at him knowing exactly when I died. It was really surprising to me.

"So, today's..." I led off. He nodded.

"Today's the 1 year anniversary of your death." He finished. Shit! It's been that long?

"I-...wow. Now to answer the question I know you wanted to know, how am I here? Am I correct in knowing you're curious of that?" I knew he wanted to know how I was here and why because you could tell he didn't believe it. He just nodded slowly. I sighed.

"I just opened my eyes in my coffin and dug out of it. Apparently I came back to life because I know I was dead...I don't know how I came back though." I answered, truthfully. He looked down his lap. He looked sad. I wonder...

"Why did you kill yourself, Roxas?" He asked, cutting off my thoughts. I looked up at him in shock he'd asked that. I looked down at my lap as well and let some tears slip.

"S-Seifer said...if I didn't kill myself he'd...he'd kill Axel..." I answered, now sobbing. "Everything I said to him that day was a lie!" I raised my voice, mad at what I'd done. "I gave him the my blue notebook that day before I had to kill myself so he would read it! I skipped my last to classes on _that_ day and wrote the truth on the final page! He-He was supposed to read it...did he?" i asked myself, sobbing very loudly now. Demyx stood and sat beside my and hugged me tightly. He was crying as well. I looked up at him. "Why are you crying?" i asked him, ignoring the crack in my voice.

"I-I was there when you...when you killed yourself. I followed you and Axel there out of curiosity, and Zexion and Riku came as well. I'm the only one who knows it was suicide, not murder. Zexion and Riku believe Axel pushed you." Demyx finished, now ashamed not sad. I was shocked. I stood.

"Demyx. Are you and Zex still dating?" I asked. This had to be settled. Now.

"Well...we broke up...then i went out with Xigbar but, we broke up last night at like 10. I called Zex and we're back together again now, though. So I am dating him." He finished.

"Good. Call him over if you don't mind." I said icily. I will not allow him to blame my lover. Or _recent_ lover. I didn't know if he was dating someone new or not. Demyx looked up at me in utter shock. "What?" I asked. I just wanted to give that ass a piece of my mind.

"Roxas. You just came back to life. I'm the only one who know this o far, correct? If so, wouldn't it be unwise to invite Zexion over?" He asked, worry laced in his voice.

"I don't care who finds out. It's not like I care." I answered slyly. He laughed at this and got out his fine and dialed Zexion's number.

"_Hello?" _Came the voice on the other end.

"Hey Zex! It's Demyx! I have something important to show you sooo...can you come over?" Demyx asked in a pleading voice. There was a sigh from the phone.

"_Fine. But just so you know. After this, no more coming over at 2 in the morning. Okay?" _Zexion's tired voice sounded. Demyx perked up.

"Okay! Be here soon!" Demyx said before hanging up. I laughed. This was to good. I always found Demyx and Zexion as a cute couple.

The doorbell rang and echoed around the house. Wow. Instead of knocking I could've just rang the doorbell... Before I could finished my inner grumbling the door creaked open and a gasp was heard. Shit. I was supposed to hide and after Demyx explained some things, I would come out. Well, too late now. I looked up at the door to see a shocked Zexion. I smiled awkwardly.

"Come here." I gestured to the couch in front of me. He did as he was told and sat down, gaping. I sighed and looked up and him and full out glared. "Why are you blaming my boy-...Axel...for me dying?" I asked, quite pissed. His eyes widened more (if possible).

"H-He...I don't anymore! I apologized yesterday about blaming him! And how are you even here?" He asked, completely dumbfounded. I smiled.

"I have no idea how I'm here but...thanks for apologizing to Axel because...it really wasn't his fault. It was mine. I don't want to talk about that right now though. Okay? Let's just be...normal. Like we used to be. Are you okay with that, Zexion, Demyx?" I closed my eyes and gave a worried smile. I assumed it was Demyx but when I opened my eyes I saw Zexion, clutching on to me.

"Thank god you're back." He said, shakily. It was obvious he was trying to hold back his emotions. No matter how emo Zexion was, he only was emo by himself. He rarely shared his true feeling with others. I patted his back. Then, worry struck me. Wait, what about Axel. Is there anyone new? Is he still alive? Is he okay? How's he been?

"Demyx...Zexion...where's Axel and what has happened? I mean, does he have anyone..._new? _And where is he? Do you know?" I asked, very worried and paranoid. demyx looked down.

"Do you want me to take you to see him? I know where he is. And before you ask, yes he's alive he's just gonna be in the hospital for awhile. I think you know about what happened. When Sora called he said it was something his father did-"

"Yes! Please take me!" i cut him off. "If it's no trouble that is..." I started to trail off. I didn't know if it would be selfish to ask him to do that. I don't know.

"Of course it isn't a bother! Do you want me to drop you off? Leon, Sora, Riku, and Reno are there. Or do you want me to come in with you?" He asked, worried. He obviously didn't want to go in. I knew Demyx was afraid of hospitals so I told him politely no. Me and him walked out to his car after saying Demyx'd be back soon. He understood and Demyx began the, not too long, ride to the hospital.

When we arrived Demyx let me out and told me to call if I wanted to be picked up. I agreed and walked into the front entrance. Memories of the many times I'd been here rushed in my head. I went up to the receptionist and stood on my tip-toes just to reach to seeing level with the woman.

"I'm looking for Axel Lea. What room is he in?" I asked, very anxious to see my lover and family in over a year.

"He's in room 813 on level 5. Are you a family member or friend?" She asked.

"I'm his boyfriend." I answered proudly. She looked disgusted. Retarded homophobe...

"Go right up." She answered, looking down. i nodded and headed towards the stairs. Elevators scare me and the longer I have, the better.

Once I got to level 5 it took me about 30 minutes to find his room. I stopped once my hand was centimeters from the door. Here's goes nothing. I hope they don't freak out...I turned the knob and pushed the door open. All eyes turned to stare at me. Everyone was shocked at what they saw. I turned around and closed the door then approached the group slowly. I had no idea how they would react so one I got to about 3 feet away from them, I stopped. I looked to my right, to the hospital bed, to see Axel with tears pouring down his thin face.

"Roxas?" He asked, his voice cracking. I nodded and stepped closer. I took another step. Then another. Another. Soon, I was right by his side, watching, waiting, needing. I didn't know what to say, what to do, or what to look at. It was very awkward. I soon found my voice and started to break the silence.

"Hey Axel. Leon, Sora, Riku, Reno. How are you guys?" I asked awkwardly. It wasn't cool. I opened my mouth to say something else when suddenly, my head whipped to the right, pain obvious. I raised a hand to my abused cheek and look at Sora, who was now crying bullets. Every tear I saw, hurt like hell. Worse than the pain in my face. Much, Much worse.

"Where have you been?" Sora asked. He obviously thought the body they buried was fake and I'm the real one coming out of hiding for a year.

"Under the ground, Sora. You should've known that. You went to my funeral, correct?" I answered then asked. He was shocked at what I'd said.

"Yes, but...that must've been a fake body. Because if that was you, you wouldn't be here right now!" He accused. I looked at Leon. He asked me if what I was implying was true, with his eyes, and I nodded in response. He raised a hand to his mouth.

"Sora. That was me. The _real_ me. I came back to life somehow. I have no idea why though...I just woke up in my coffin, dug out of it and I was going to go to our house but...I went to Demyx's instead first. He told me pretty much how long I've been dead and about what happened the day I killed myself. He drove me here after telling me what Axel's "father" did to him and dropped me off. I just climbed the stairs to get up here to see you guys. So, here I am." I finished, gesturing to myself. Sora was dumbfounded. More than usual. Leon stepped towards me and hugged me, sobbing.

"Roxas...why? Why did you kill yourself in the first place? Why?" He asked in-between sobs. I sighed and knew I'd have to tell.

"Axel. Remember March 17th, 2007? The day I killed myself?" I asked hopefully. He nodded sadly, looking at his lap. "Everything I told you that day...was a lie." His head shot up faster than a bullet at this. "Except when I said I loved you and about the notebooks and such. What I mean is everything I said about wanting to die was a lie. You know Seifer?" I waited for a nod to continue. "He said if I didn't kill myself, he'd kill you. And he said I have to say I did it because I hated everything except you. He said I couldn't tell you the reason I'm killing myself or he would kill you as well. Do you still have the notebooks I gave you that day?" Another nod. "The blue one has from day one when I met you, all the way to the day I died. Do you have the notebooks with you?" He nodded and pulled up his backpack, pulling out the notebooks and setting the backpack back on the side of the hospital bed. "Open to the last page in the blue one. It says everything. Why and how I killed myself. How I felt about, about you, about everything. And the last line, was so true. I still really do. no rhyme intended." Tears started to pour down Axel's face and onto the ink writing on the notebook. I went over and hugged him. I loved him.


End file.
